Can I just sleep? Can I just sleep for a longer stretch than 4 hours? I mean…I know sleep divorced me but he is being dirty and taking me back to court these days! I am having no visitation rights! Baby C is trying to make me a crazy woman! Lets just rattle off all the books that haven’t worked and then you can tell me some other book your friend read that changed her life. Oh sure it did. I believe you, just go ahead and have your friend come over and spend one night in my house and then we will talk. “The Baby Whisperer” you say? That booked worked wonders? How about “12 hours in 12 weeks”? Oh that was a keeper! “Happiest Baby on the Block”? Whose block? Not mine! Ferber? I loathe him. He does nothing for this chick. It’s 12:57am and I am sitting on my Iphone rambling because I just spent the last hour pacing and rocking my 8 month old. Oh yes I am sure I am doing something all wrong and you want to tell me it gets better. Yeah, I’ve heard that statement. I started hearing it when she was born and I use to believe people like you. Not so much anymore sister. Take your story somewhere else. It’s time for CIO! Oh you don’t know about CIO? Your friend didn’t recommend that book? It’s not a top seller? Googling it didn’t work? Yes, we are at this stage now but I’m about to throw this last hope for a cure out the window with the graveyard of books that has formed in my backyard. CIO? CRY IT OUT. Yep. Just take your nails and drag them across a chalkboard…for over an hour. It’s so fun! And make sure you do it right when REM sleep is starting to take over.
Wait. She just fell asleep. I’m going to try to find REM really quick. Be back in an hour. Don’t worry, this gigs not up.
Aaaaaaaand I’m back. It was a short, sweet, snooze for mommy. I actually got 3 in a row and then the screaming started. J has already vacated the room and bolted to the couch. One of us needs some sleep around here.
When I was pregnant with the second we had grand plans to put the girls in the same room. Comical. I decided it was time to try it out last Thursday. We put them both to bed at the same time. Lights off and the door shut. C screamed while L just held her sippy cup looking nervous. After 10 minutes of crying L sat up and said “it’s ok bebe, it’s ok”. Love her. Once C heard someone in the room with her she went BANANAS! She’s thinking “what? Someone is here and not picking me up?”. Ten minutes later C fell asleep and L joined her. J and I high fived. This was great!! And then 3 am hit (hey I was just glad it was 3…I was expecting 12). When I am in a dead sleep and I am woken up abruptly by my children crying I basically freak out and jump up into the air and throw myself out of bed. Picture someone throwing cold water on someone dead asleep and that is probably what I look like. J hates it because he feels like there is an emergency situation, when in fact, it’s just the norm. I calmed myself down and watched the monitor intently to see if C’s cries would wake up L. No movement. Awesome. C will settle down soon. Ten minutes of screams go by. Nothing. Going on 20, 30, 40 minutes. No movement by L. I am amazed. C screams and then lays down for a breather, and then screams, and then psychs us out with what looks like sleep. Finally at 45 minutes L wakes up. Both babies are crying. Fabulous. J was attempting to sleep through some of the drama but now it was time to make a game plan. That was the end of the girls sleeping in same room. We never went back to sleep after 3am and I had to take the blame for making that play call.
It is now 4am, C is back to sleep. I drop like a dead weight into bed. The dog gets up and shakes and proceeds to prance around the room which means get up and take me out. Who wants a 5lb Pomeranian? Anyone? Bueller? I let her out and have to wait for her to find just the right spot. I’m cooked. She skips back in and disappears under the bed. Must be nice. I’m wide awake. I know C will be up for good at 6 which means I’ve got to settle down and get a nap before Monday begins. It’s time to flip over to Pinterest to redesign my house and pin some dinners I’ll never have time to make. The name of my blog was clearly thought out correctly.
Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. (Matthew 11:29 NIV)