To Grandmothers House We Go

I realize I have been MIA lately. It has been a rough couple of weeks with work and the babies being sick but I’M BACK!!! Miss me? Below is a sample of what kicked off the last couple weeks of chaos….

After packing for two weeks, we were finally ready for our vacation to Texas. Something would definitely be forgotten or left behind, but Target can solve all problems and it would be within an hours drive if I needed to go. We were off to Bandera, Texas, the cowboy capital of the world. I spent every summer growing up swimming in the Medina River and walking around in the dead heat looking for deer, armadillos, snakes, cows, and any other form of wildlife. I have been so excited to show L the ranch and let her experience all the things I have loved about Texas. We just had to get there. We had to survive the plane ride with two babies under the age of 2 sitting on our laps. It was going to be ugly.

I knew I needed to occupy every second of L’s time so I googled “best toddler apps” for my iPad and downloaded a handful to keep her occupied. I also bought “The Wiggles Christmas”, an episode of Bubble Guppies, Mickey mouse clubhouse, AND I brought along books, markers,
stickers, toys and snacks. Like I said, I have been packing for two weeks. Preparation is key these days. Our flight was at 7:45 am which meant we really wouldn’t sleep the night before because we knew we had to wake up early and couldn’t oversleep, especially
with children. After tossing and turning for hours we watched the clock turn to 4am and looked at eachother. What was the point of trying to sleep…let the fun begin.

The one silver lining of traveling with children is the fact that you get to bypass the long security lines and board early. That’s it. That’s the only bonus. And I really don’t like boarding early because why make your kids sit still for any longer than you have to? Why torture yourself for extra minutes? We boarded early. Awesome.

I wish I would have taken a video of people’s faces upon our boarding to upload to this blog. Absolutely priceless. We boarded the plane and the captains and flight attendants greeted us. You can tell the flight attendants were thinking “Great, I wonder how much food I’m going to have to clean up from the floor at the end of this flight”. Then you have the people that look at you with a smile because you have small babies, BUT, it is also a sad face, because they are mothers or fathers too, and they have
also made trips like this and feel very sorry for you. These people are your advocates. Make sure you smile back at them because when Hell breaks loose, these are the people you want next to you. The next set of faces are the ones that are thinking “please NO, please NO, please don’t let those kids be anywhere near me”. Yes, these people are screwed. These people were me before kids and they will be me in 5-10 years. Enjoy.

We prayed hard before flying and we had family praying as well. God heard His people. We ended up switching seats with a couple in front of us who had been there and done that, as previously stated above, and they felt very sorry for us. We had a row all to ourselves and L had her own seat. This was a huge blessing, we would never have survived otherwise. She is an antsy 23 month old and cannot sit still for one second. She was standing on the seat checking out the row behind us, then she was leaning on the seat in front of her, and then climbing on the hand rails. We went through an entire package of “Wet Ones” trying to disinfect all areas of the plane the children would come into contact with. The bottom line is planes are dirty hamster cages. They ooze nasty germs. I watched L run her hands over the window, then touch the tray table, and then climb on the nasty floor under the seat. Fabulous. Just fabulous. Now, if she could just come up and stick her hands in C’s mouth, we would be all set. Oh…and she did. Perfect. They might as well have just licked the floor and windows upon boarding. The question was how long would it be until their noses started running. Five seconds? Nope, 3 days.

There would be no napping on this plane because mommy wasn’t thinking
when she booked the flights. Flying first thing in the morning equals children that are energized and ready to party. Mistake. L was not interested in any of the movies or shows I purchased. I am so glad I spent ten dollars on The Wiggles. They scare me. She did not care about Mickey and didn’t flinch at the Bubble who? Thank goodness for food. I pretty much fed my carb-o-tarian for 3 hours straight trying to keep her entertained. It worked! When we walked off the plane, I mean ran, I asked J if he was happy to be on vacation…his response? “I am not on vacation until I get through this day”. Point taken. We had an hour drive ahead of us and it was going to be a bad story. No naps and two children who loathe their car seats makes for a long car ride. I actually think they communicate through their screams. L tells C, “I’m going to stop and take a break, but you keep screaming and I’ll relieve you and begin screaming in one minute so mom and dad get no reprieve”, and vice versa.

When we finally made it to our destination, my 4 sisters and brother
and their respective spouses were there. All of them have older children that are either grown, or manageable, and they have quickly forgotten how lack of sleep makes you wacky. They were ready to drag Main Street and honky tonk around Bandera and J and I just wanted to drop dead. New place, new beds, new fun people is the equivalent of a nightclub on your 21st birthday to our children . L was running in circles and C was being passed from person to person until finally they fell hard and so did we. This is one of those vacations you need a vacation from. Oh wait, that’s because I have children. Note to self: Do not travel again until they are both over the age of 3…or 20.

“The end of a matter is better than its beginning, and patience is better than pride. Do not be quickly provoked in your spirit, for anger resides in the lap of fools. Do not say, “Why were the old
days better than these?” For it is not wise to ask such questions”
Ecclesiastes 7:8-10 NIV

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