What can I get you?

4 am boob baby C

6 am boob her again to try and keep her asleep.

6:45 am boob is not working anymore so it is time to wake up and face the day. L walks in and wants to be held and flooded with attention (she is 22 months old). I put the baby in the jumperoo in the bathroom and attempt to shower while I entertain her with some peek-a-boo and songs. I am sure some part of my body missed the water and soap as it was a 2 minute affair. L helps me pick out my outfit for work. Why yes, I have always wanted to wear a blue t-shirt with a brown skirt and running shoes…how did she know? She wants me to eat breakfast with her and wants to be held while I make it. I think my hip is permanently jetted out on the side of my body from having a child always attached to oneside or the other. I have guilt from leaving the girls for work so I appease them and hold them whenever they cry. I can do anything these days with one hand…two would just be overkill. J tells me he needs more underwear and asks if I can pick some up. I also need to hit the grocery store to find something to cook for dinner. Oh and work…thats right, I have a 9-5.

I realize this is a common theme among women. Doing it all and having it go unnoticed and I do not want to beat a dead horse but the word MULTI-TASK was specifically developed for women. My adorable husband can not even play a game on the iPad and have a conversation at the same time. I can play a game (hahahaha who has time for a game), talk on the phone, listen to his conversation with L in the kitchen,
decipher her baby vocabulary, and remind him to give her water. But hey, who’s counting.

Fast forward through my day and the errands I found time to run after work. I walk into the house and find my sweet nieces and mother playing with L and C. Perfect! I can change clothes and get dinner started…pause…not. C is hungry and she wants to be nursed. Done, she passes out. L wants to go swimming so I open the pool gate and check the drain. Oh fabulous, another snake in the pool, (one yesterday too) it’s a regular serpentarium around here. I pull him out and we say goodnight to Mr. Snake and I run inside to start dinner. It goes in the oven and I run back outside to see L. She has become a little fish in the water and I love to watch her swim but it’s 95 degrees and I am still trudging around in my work clothes, when can I change? Bath time!

When L gets hungry and tired she melts and throws herself on the floor unless I hold her. Yes, I can pull a Pyrex glass dish out of the oven one handed. Potatoes cut, one handed. Broccoli steamed, one handed. Pouring milk and making oatmeal for C…you guessed it, one handed. J comes home, it’s time to eat! All of a sudden L isn’t sad anymore because fun dad is home and just when I think I will get a reprieve, C wakes up. Work clothes on? Check check! Everyone eats and I feed C. My husband decides he wants to mow the lawn and it must be done right now. Of course! Go ahead! I’ll just hold both melting kids and put L to bed. But go, unwind and change clothes, do you want a cold beer with that?

We are in the process of breaking L of bottles. Gasp! Yes, she is 22 months and still on a bottle. Horrible parents. We have had so much going on with C that we did not break L of the bottle so we are doing it now. Fun times, fun times. I put her to bed and get screams as I leave the room…awesome. Time to put C to bed. Nightgown, night diaper, and more boob. Mommy is dunzo!

I walk out to the living room and J wants some attention now. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE just let me change into a sexy looking nursing camisole and my old bleached out navy pants you love so much and then I will give you my undivided attention and if you could hook me up to an IV of vodka that would pretty much be great. Oh and here is the underwear I picked up for you. Gracias adios!

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. In your
relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus: (Philippians 2:3-5)


2 thoughts on “What can I get you?

  1. I love the mowing the lawn part. I tell Brian all the time. “I’ll mow the lawn. You can watch Ryder- feed, bathe, play with, and put to bed… Deal??” but… It’s no deal.
    Love u! You’re doing great!! I know u don’t feel like it but from the outside looking in. You’re super mom!!!

  2. Too funny!! I have to tell you that when I took a shower after reading this, I imagined trying to play peek-a-boo with a baby on the other side of the curtain. Not anytime soon though…….

    P.s. I would opt for an IV of wine over vodka 😉

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